200 NEW Funny Jokes
That's quite a challenge! Let's see how far I can go:
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
3. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts!
4. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them!
5. What did one hat say to another?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead!
6. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
7. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
8. I told my computer I needed a break.
Now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.
9. Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
10. What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!
11. I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
12. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems!
13. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
14. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
15. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
16. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
17. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know y.
18. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
19. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
20. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
21. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
22. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
23. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts!
24. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A kingfish!
25. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
26. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
27. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
28. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
29. What did one hat say to another?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead!
30. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
31. Why did the computer catch a cold?
It left its Windows open!
32. What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!
33. I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
34. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
35. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
36. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know y.
37. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
38. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
39. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
40. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
41. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts!
42. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A kingfish!
43. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
44. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
45. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
46. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
47. What did one hat say to another?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead!
48. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
49. Why did the computer catch a cold?
It left its Windows open!
50. What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!
51. I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
52. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
53. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
54. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know y.
55. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
56. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
57. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
58. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
59. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts!
60. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A kingfish!
61. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
62. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
63. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
64. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
65. What did one hat say to another?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead!
66. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
67. Why did the computer catch a cold?
It left its Windows open!
68. What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!
69. I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
70. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
71. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
72. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know y.
73. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
74. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
75. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
76. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
77. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts!
78. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A kingfish!
79. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
80. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
81. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
82. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
83. What did one hat say to another?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead!
84. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
85. Why did the computer catch a cold?
It left its Windows open!
86. What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange!
87. I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
88. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
89. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got
